


a long way down

by peterspet



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Apocalypse, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Breeding, Breeding Kink, Dark Peter Parker, Dark fic, F/M, Heavy Angst, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Jealousy, Mom!Reader, Murder, Possessive Behavior, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Slice of Life, dark bucky barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:28:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25083160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterspet/pseuds/peterspet
Summary: In which the dead are walking, you belong to Bucky, and you stumble upon Steve’s settlement.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 190





	1. Chapter 1

The first time you met Bucky, he saved your life. He saved yours and then made you take another. 

You had locked yourself in an abandoned gas station for the night. You had spent so many days running, walking further and further from your home. It was the first night in weeks that you let your guards down a little. The station had been ransacked completely but you managed to scrape a small meal of what people left behind as undesirables. It tasted heavenly. 

You had actually fallen asleep knowing you weren’t going to die. You fell asleep knowing you could sleep the full eight hours. 

When you awoke on the surprisingly comfortable tile floors, your worry returned abruptly. You could see through the windows that they had gathered in the parking lot. You slowly approached the windows, holding a kitchen knife tightly in your hands. 

You were still wearing the blue sundress from the family barbecue you were attending before the world ended, a combat jacket you found tied around your waist. The knife belonged to the Robinson’s, a family of four, that you watched all die before your eyes. 

They were the tip of the iceberg. You watched your own family die in the next few weeks and then all the members of the small group you were a part of. You should’ve known better than to stop running. Everyone you knew died because they got pinned somewhere and the walkers overtook them. 

One of the walkers noticed your slight movement and focused on you. It limped towards the window of the front of the store and you took a cautious step back. You kept still for a moment, hoping not to attract anymore but the one walker seemed to signal the rest of his friends. 

This entire town was deserted of walkers when you arrived yesterday and now it seemed to be overrun with them. You had a feeling that a herd might be passing through. You ducked behind one of the many food shelves and kneeled down. You were going to wait it out until they passed through town and realized there was no one here for them to eat.

That was the plan until more started to swarm the gas station, their moaning and groaning became even louder. Your hands were shaking as the sound of the pounding began to deafen you. You couldn’t help but consider what you would do if they broke through the glass. If you slit your own wrist and bled out then you wouldn’t feel them tearing you limb from limb. 

The back door had been barricaded too heavily for you to get through. Besides, you’d most likely meet another crowd of walkers going that way. 

You held the knife shakily, beads of sweat dripping down your forehead, as you tried to stop yourself from thinking that way. 

Abruptly, your eyes shot open as gunshots rang in the air nearby. One pierced through the front window, sending glass shattering to the floor. You didn’t recognize them as gunshots at first, you thought walkers had finally broken through but, as you peaked around the shelf, you found yourself dead wrong. 

Through the window, you saw a man moving like a shadow, firing his pistol and precisely hitting several of the walkers through their skulls. He was mesmerizing, a killing machine, and a force of energy that was foreign to you. He moved swiftly enough to dodge the blood-hungry demons that lunged for him and strong enough to knock them down and stab them through the skull before they could stand again. 

He was killing them all. 

You noticed the glint of a metal-like substance as your wide eyes admired his left arm. You were staring so intently that you hadn’t noticed a walker had crept its way inside and set its sights on you. 

You scrambled backward, fumbling with the knife in your hand as you struggled to point it at the monster. You stood, still backing away, as he moved closer. She was an elderly woman, her body decayed, and carrying a horrible stench. The necklace around her neck was shaped like a heart. It looked like the kind that contained pictures of a loved one. 

You couldn’t help but sympathize, couldn’t help but make up excuses for why you couldn’t do it. Why you couldn’t be brave. Before you could hesitate any longer, a sharp knife pierced through the woman’s skull and she collapsed before. 

You stared at the shadow of the men, his towering figure, and, although his eyes were a blue crystal, they were dead.

“Are you blind or deaf?” He asked you, his voice as dark as his appearance. 

You only shook your head, words not daring to leave your mouth. The man looked around the rest of the rest stop, probably noting there were barely any supplies before he sighed. He didn’t understand how you could let yourself get in such a sticky position and then not even be able to handle yourself against one of them.

“Do you have supplies?” He asked next. 

You hesitantly raised a finger towards your backpack resting beside one of the shelves, “Not … not much. I just … I-I just wanted to sleep,” He noted your appearance, the insufficient and dirty clothing as well as the bags around your eyes. You were a suburban girl who was clearly out of her element, “Thank you,” You added quickly. 

He didn’t acknowledge your gratitude, “I need medical supplies,” He stated firmly. 

“I, uhm, I have some alcohol and bandages-”

“Grab your bag, let’s go,” Your eyes seemed to widen even more as the man turned away from you. 

“W-What?” You stuttered over your words, “I don’t … I don’t know you. I’ll give you the-”

Bucky turned back, clearly annoyed, “You want to stay alone when you can’t even properly use a knife?”

You looked down at the knife in your hand. It was clean of any blood, “I was going to use it … “

He scoffed, “What’s your name, doll?”

“Y/N,” You answered, still trying to keep calm. 

“Bucky,” He stated, making a move to leave once again, “You coming or not?”

You had to make a decision then. Risk life in the apocalypse alone or hope this man could protect you. What he wanted in return other than bandages, you weren’t sure yet. You huffed, deciding to grab your backpack and follow him outside. 

You had to admit that you weren’t cut out for this life. You weren’t even sure how you had made it this far. 

You stepped over the bodies of at least ten walkers as you stepped into the parking lot. Bucky walked toward an abandoned red truck sitting by one of the gas pumps. You watched him curiously as he discovered a walker strapped into the passenger seat. It couldn’t untangle himself from the seatbelt and was trying to throw itself out of the window. 

It started to moan and growl as the two of you approached. You thought he was pulling out the pistol to put it out its misery but Bucky turned to you, holding the gun out to you, “Take it.”

“I don’t want-”

“Take it,” He stated more firmly, little patience in his eyes. You raised a shaky hand, taking it into your grip, “Hold it tight.”

To your surprise, the man came behind you, gently grabbing your arm as he showed you the proper way to hold it, “W-Why do you want me to do this?” You asked shakily. When you tried to lower it, you pushed your arms up.

“You’re going to kill it,” You turned your head, your eyes wide, “I’m not bringing you with me if you can’t even kill a walker.”

You looked at the walker again, noting the uniform he was wearing was that of a mechanic. He used to have a job, a life, probably a family, “I can’t,” You protested, “I can’t.”

“You can do it. You will do it. No one is in there, Y/N,” Bucky spoke calmly, his voice lower than you expected, “You’re doing him a favor. At least let the man’s body be free.”

Bucky let go of you after your hands were in the correct position. He noticed your shaky grip, the fact that your body was clearly going into panic mode. You hoped he didn’t notice the tears stinging in your eyes. You imagined the man’s wife and the man’s family. Would they care that you didn’t leave him be? 

Bucky’s voice snapped you out of your trance, “Do it.”

You closed your eyes and fired. Silence echoed around you like the force of the gun knocked you back a step. When you slowly opened your eyes, the man’s brains were splattered on the back of his seat. 

“We’ll have to work on keeping your eyes open when you fire. You got lucky,” Bucky grabbed the gun from you, holding it down by his side. 

All you could do was stare at what you’d done. You shouldn’t be able to play God in this way. Monster or not, it all felt wrong, “ … I’m sorry,” You whispered to the man and to whatever family that was out there.

Bucky looked you over. He’d never met someone so afraid of killing. He was a killing machine before and after the dead rose from their graves. He saw your heartbreaking as reality was finally hitting you after all this time. You were realizing that you were nothing special, that this was your fate and everyone was eventually going to end up like the man in the truck. 

“Oh, doll,” Bucky sighed, his lips pressed into a thin line, “I’m afraid it’s a long way down from here.”

+

Bucky’s latest homestead was a Motel 6 more than forty miles away from the gas station. Your mother had warned you about guys who rode motorcycles and you imagined she was rolling over in her grave now that you were on the back of Buckys. Luckily, you didn’t encounter any more packs of walkers but Bucky insisted you hurry because a pack was sure to follow after all the gunshots. 

“The shower works,” Bucky spoke absentmindedly, setting a duffel bag on the single bed. He seemed to have collected a lot of supplies before he even ran into you, “Water’s cold but you can still use it.”

You nodded, clutching your backpack tightly, as you crossed the room. Bucky watched your backside as you slipped into the dirty bathroom. 

What the hell were you doing? You were in a tiny motel room with a complete stranger. Now you were getting naked behind a door and you had no idea of his expectation especially since there was only a single bed. 

You shook your head, setting your bag down on the sink. You pulled off your jacket and then lifted your dress above your head. You looked over your body, your sunken in features, and your shrinking figure. You reached to touch your face only to jump at the sound of a knock at the door. 

“Do you need a change of clothes?” He asked you and you froze for a moment. You looked at your tattered blue dress. “A verbal answer, preferably.”

“Y-Yes, please,” You answered, cracking the door so he couldn’t see you in your underwear. Bucky handed you the pile of cloth and you gave a weak smile as you closed the door back. Looking back in the mirror, you let out a breath of air you didn’t know you were holding. 

You set the clothes down before turning on the shower. You took the time to clean yourself and some of your items as well. You thought maybe you could get the blood and dirt out of your dress and it would remind you again of happy times. You set it out to dry on the towel rack. 

The clothes he gave you consisted of a plain black t-shirt that fit way too big for you. As you searched for more, you realized that it was all he had given you. It fit like a dress but you couldn’t help but wonder if his mind was elsewhere. You grabbed your backpack and jacket before exiting the bathroom. 

You found that he had made himself comfortable, the gray shirt he was wearing was tight enough to illuminate his muscles as well as the metal arm. He was cleaning his knife when he looked up to see you standing awkwardly. 

“Come here,” Again, he spoke like you were a minuscule thought in his mind. You took a few steps closer. “Are you going to prance around me like a baby doe for the rest of this relationship?”

You scoffed this time, “I’m sorry … this is new.”

Bucky didn’t seem like he was willing to wait for you to catch up to him. Things were now or never with him, “Set your things down,” For a moment, you questioned why you were following this man blindly, and then another part of you remembered what he was capable of. 

Even without a threat of violence, Bucky noted your submissiveness. Your innocence could be a burden but maybe a blessing in disguise as well. 

He grabbed your hand, pulling you in between his legs and you looked down at him with frightened eyes. He stilled your shaking hand with his strong one, “Should we go over how things are going to work between you and me?”

It was rhetorical but you nodded slowly. 

“It’s simple. You do as I say and I won’t leave you for dead,” You understood but it was much harsher when he put it in his own words. Looking at him, you couldn’t help but notice his handsome features. The killing had blinded you to it before but now you could see it with full exposure, “You use that gun when the time comes and it will come. I don’t want to have to put you out of your misery if you get bitten.”

“I don’t know how-”

“I’ll teach you, doll,” He declared. You yelped as he suddenly grabbed your waist, flipping you onto the bed and pinning you beneath him, “A helpless thing like you should know how to protect herself.”

Bucky searched your face, calculating before his head dipped into the crook of your neck. His beard scratched your skin as he placed kisses along the sensitive skin. 

“Bucky!” You struggled beneath him but you felt the strong metal of his hand press you further into the mattress, “Bucky, please.”

You felt so weak beneath him and you hated that warm feeling he sent through your body. You gritted your teeth as he kissed your chin and then his lips grazed yours, “I saved your life, Y/N, it’s the least you could do.”

You shook your head as he pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was hard, desperate, and you felt all the pent up frustration in his body. You could finally breathe when he pulled away, only for him to take soft bites of the skin on your cheek and then your ear. 

“Bucky,” Your voice came out in a whisper. 

“I’ll be gentle,” He assured you, “It’ll feel better if you don’t struggle.”

He was right. As soon as you stopped trying to push him away, your tired body thanked you for it. 

Your first night with Bucky, he made sure to lay down his claim. He saw no use in trying to get to know you. You were his and you’d learn to like it. He saved your life after all. 

Bucky lifted your shirt, pulling off your panties. He stilled your shaking leg and a shiver went through you as the weapon he called a hand, wrapped around your thigh. He kissed down your body, over your stomach before his head dipped between your legs. 

You didn’t expect to cry out in ecstasy that night. You didn’t expect to feel anything at all but, although Bucky didn’t give you a choice, you started to feel human for the first time in a while. This sort of intimacy and pleasure was a rare commodity and part of you wanted to welcome that comfort.

You gripped the motel sheets tightly as he brought you over that cliff. He seemed to savor your pleasure and you expected him to force himself inside you next but he simply told you, “Go to sleep, doll.”

The dark stranger held you tight the whole night. 

+

The next few months passed quicker than you expected. Every day you were alive was a blessing but you couldn’t help but think that you didn’t deserve it. 

You traveled the country with Bucky, finding homestead after homestead to stay in. Inevitably, a crowd of walkers would ruin your plans or you’d run into groups of scavengers, humans who killed just as much as walkers. 

Bucky taught you how to properly use a gun as well as a knife. You practiced aiming in forest clearings and pretty soon you could handle your own. You considered leaving him but the stranger seemed to open up to you more as the weeks went on. You learned he was in the military and that was how he lost his arm. You figured he was some type of government agent before the dead rose. That was the only way you could explain the arm. 

You let yourself grow attached to him and you assumed that he did too. 

You told him about the small town you grew up in and your privileged life in suburbia. You had traded your sundress for jeans, a band t-shirt, one of Bucky’s combat jackets and black boots. 

You enjoyed the wind in your hair as you rode together with Bucky across the state lines. You were meant to be his extra eye but you couldn’t help that your mind wandered sometimes. Dreams of a better world comforted you. 

You were on a long road, traveling through an evergreen forest when Bucky’s motorcycle abruptly skidded to halt. You looked ahead and, fifty feet ahead, was a makeshift barricade of rusted cars, “What is it?” You asked in a whisper and Bucky shushed you. 

He dismounted the bike and you did the same. You took a small glance around the eerily quiet forest as Bucky approached the group of cars, “All the cars are dead. We can’t go through here,” You sensed the frustration in his voice as you pulled the map from your jacket pocket. You found the pen mark you last left that marked the area you two were trying to reach. 

“We can go back ten miles east and try a different road,” You spoke swiftly and Bucky nodded, turning back towards the vehicle. 

The scavengers came out of nowhere, several four-wheelers emerged from the tree line with armed men riding in them. They pointed their guns at the two of you as A giant truck pulled into the road, causing you to be blocked on each side. 

Bucky was quick to grab his rifle, stepping in front of you and you pointed your pistol at one of the many scavengers. You heard Bucky curse under his breath as your panic began to set in. You glanced down at your feet and realized there was dry blood decorating the cement. This group used the blockade to ambush survivors and inevitably kill them. 

“Drop the weapons!” Shouted one of the burly men with his rifle pointed at us, “You’re outnumbered. Don’t make this hard!”

Bucky let the silence set in for a moment before letting his words cut through the thick tension like a knife, “Over. My. Dead. Body.”

Over yours too apparently. 

“Suit yourself,” The man agreed, his mouth opening to order his men to fire. 

He was interrupted by another voice though. One that clearly held more power than the man. He stepped out from the passenger side of the truck, jumping down with a revolver in hand. You noted his muscular stature and the fact that his long hair and beard reminded you of Jesus himself. 

“Hold your fire, Sam. Hold your fire!”

You noticed then the clothing of the men was way more decent than you expected. You noted bright colors and a lack of wrinkles. Clearly where these men came from there were heavy supplies. The man who looked like Jesus, who was clearly their leader, stepped forward with his revolver at his side. 

You noticed Bucky start to lower his rifle and something even more unexpected happened, the leader smiled at Bucky. His eyes wandered to you and the man’s smile widened even more, “Bucky,” The man spoke as if he couldn’t believe his own words.

“Steve,” You looked to Bucky with wide eyes. 

They knew each other?

You still held your gun tightly, your eyes darting around at the group of scavengers who had now lowered their weapons. 

“Bucky, what’s going on?” You asked him.

“Lower your weapon, dollface,” The man named Steve said to you, “Your pal Bucky here is an old friend of mine.”

You looked to Bucky for permission and he slowly nodded. You lowered it at his command which Steve watched with a raised eyebrow, “This is your strategy, Rogers? Killing innocents and taking their supplies?”

“A lot has changed since we last saw each other. This is called adapting, my friend. Besides, we haven’t hurt you, have we?” You could tell there were years, perhaps decades, on their relationship. Steve looked at you and noted how you hid halfway behind Bucky, “Who’s this?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Bucky said quickly. 

Steve only raised his hands in defense, chuckling, “Fine, fine. You two look like you need some help.”

“We’re fine, just let us pass.”

“How much gas do you have left?” Steve asked like he knew something that we didn’t, “I can tell you now that my group has collected every drop of it in the surrounding hundred-mile radius. I wouldn’t want you guys to get stranded somewhere.”

“We have enough,” Bucky stated firmly though you knew he was lying. 

Steve sighed, “C’mon, Buck, I’m extending an olive branch. I control this area, traveling on it without my permission is just a guaranteed death sentence. We have a sanctuary nearby with lots of food, water, and shelter. Come with us.”

Bucky was silent for a long moment. You knew he was pretty much a lone wolf and disliked the idea of having to trust others with his safety. 

“We won’t stay.”

Steve slowly nodded, “Fine, then give me time to catch up with my friend. We’ll need your weapons for the time being. I have to look out for the safety of my people.”

+

“Welcome to Liberty.”

Bucky refused to give up his weapons until they actually arrived at the settlement. You both noted the impressive nature of the area Steve controlled. The area consisted of a suburban neighborhood surrounded by a tall, metal wall. They called it Liberty. 

You noticed the watched towers that held snipers who killed the walkers in the path of the trucks we were traveling in. The gate to the settlement and all of the cars filed in before the doors were shut. Bucky helped you out of the truck and you got a good look around. 

It was a complete Utopia. They had large fields for farming, their own source of water and electricity. You didn’t even think something like this was possible. 

You passed a few people and they looked at you like outsiders while they smiled and acknowledged Steve as their “Captain”. 

Steve offered to show the two of you around but Bucky only wanted to see where the two of you would stay. If Bucky was impressed by everything, he didn’t say anything, “As a sign of good faith,” Steve said, “You two are staying in my own humble abode.”

Humble was the wrong one. Steve had the biggest house to himself at the center of the neighborhood. It was two stories, a calming blue, and looked like it had at least five bedrooms. Steve showed you around the nicely furnished house and introduced the two of you to a blonde woman named Sharon. 

She offered the two of you sandwiches and Steven explained that Sharon worked in the infirmary. They didn’t seem to be affectionate but it was easy to assume that they were romantically involved. People took comfort wherever they could nowadays. 

Steve showed you yours and Bucky’s room on the second floor and he left the two of you to settle in, “How do you know him?” Was the first question that left your lips. 

“We were in the same unit overseas. Last time I heard of him, I was being discharged after losing my arm and he was being promoted.”

You felt he was leaving out details but he answered more than you expected anyway. 

The two of you were able to clean up after two weeks of traveling and no showers. They even had hot water here which you hadn’t felt since life was normal. They also left you new clothes and you were surprised to find a dress for yourself. 

You felt the fabric of the floral pattern and it reminded you of happier times. You liked it, you wanted to feel feminine after months of being covered in dirt and gunshot residue. As you slipped the dress on and finally drove a brush through your hair, you gazed at Bucky. He was buttoning a red flannel and you noticed how you could really see his face now that he had a chance to trim his beard. 

He looked … clean. Maybe a little more innocent than before. 

He slipped on his own jeans and boots before saying to you, “Stay here,” You grabbed his hand before he could walk out the door. 

“Do you trust him?”

“Enough,” He answered simply, “I trust him enough.”

He kissed your forehead before leaving you alone. 

+

“Have you fallen in love or something, Buck?”

Bucky paced the length of Steve’s office, his mind all over the place, “No,” Bucky answered, “Our relationship is just … mutually beneficial.”

Steve leaned back in his chair, his fingers running through his beard, “That’s how it is nowadays. I’m sure Sharon’s motivations include me being a better option than those savages who do my dirty work. And I’m not ugly, either.”

As Bucky didn’t respond to his humor, Steve continued, “What’s the nature of your relationship with Y/N? What’s in it for her?”

“I keep her alive.”

“And for you?” Bucky was silent because Steve already knew the answer, “Our relationship could also be mutually beneficial. As you can see, I have a lot to offer. I have a fucking empire, Buck. Weapons, land, you name it. If I don’t have it then surely one of my allies will.”

“And what can I offer you?”

Stever smirked evilly, “Her.”

“No.”

“I saw the way she looks at you. She’d do anything you said if you asked.

“Why?” Bucky asked, his muscles starting to tighten as the anger boiled inside of him, “You have women here, don’t you?”

Steve shook his head, “Not enough that are childbearing age,” Bucky understood. His friend was developing some sort of king complex, “I’ve been trying with Sharon for a while now and nothing. My allies refuse to trade theirs.”

“You want to bring a life into this world?”

“This is the safest place in the entire country. There has to be a point where we rebuild.”

“… Steve,” Bucky rubbed his temple. 

“I’m not trying to steal her away from you, Buck. She just has something I need. Something I would pay you handsomely for.”

+

“You’re very pretty,” Sharon said to you as she served another serving of salad onto your plate. She sat in front of you at the square table and the four of you ate dinner together, “Bucky is lucky to have you.”

“Thank you,” You smiled back at her, “Your home … your home is very beautiful.”

Sharon smiled, sipping at her cold glass of water. She looked to Steve who said, “We’ve made it our own, haven’t we?” He asked Sharon rhetorically, “We’d love it if you stayed a while, Y/N.”

Steve watched as you immediately looked to Bucky. After spending the day here, you did think it would be nice to stay but you were loyal to Bucky, “Well … I don’t think Bucky likes to follow other people’s rules very much.”

Bucky was silent as he cut his steak, not even bothering to look at you. 

“That might be an understatement,” Steve chuckled, trying to break the tension, “You could always stay anyways … and we’d let Bucky come and go as he pleases.”

Your eyebrows raised in confusion. You had the feeling again that Steve more than you. What made it worse was now you suspected everyone at the table knew more than you. 

You desperately wanted Bucky to say something. Anything, “I don’t know what use I’d be around here.”

“You could always help out in the infirmary,” Sharon said happily, “Our guys are always getting hurt out there.”

“I appreciate the offer but …”

“You’ll stay here,” You looked to Bucky with wide eyes, “You’ll be safe here.”

“And where will you go?” You asked quickly, your world starting to fall apart once again. 

“I have business elsewhere,” Was all he said. You could deal with his secretiveness before but not now, “I’ll be back when I’m done.”

Silence fell over the table for a moment before Sharon attempted to comfort you, “We’ll take care of you here, honey. There’s no need to worry.”

You shook your head, “No, I’m going with you. I don’t want to stay.”

“Y/N-”

Bucky was interrupted by Steve, “You will stay. The decision has already been made.”

You stood up abruptly, shaking the table, “I don’t even know you people!” You yelled back, turning to Bucky, “Please take me with you.”

“What did I just fucking say, Y/N?” 

It felt like you were being rejected. Like you were losing yet another person, “This is what you want, Bucky?” You crossed your arms, “You swear?”

“Yes, doll,” He reassured you, “This doesn’t change anything.”

You pushed your chair back, “This changes everything and you don’t even care,” You spoke, not bothering to look back, before storming out of the dining room. 

+

Bucky wasn’t telling you the truth, that much you knew. You sat on the bed in your new room with a heavy weight on your shoulders. You untied your hair from its ponytail and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to relieve some stress in your body. 

When the door opened again, you immediately said, “I’m sorry for yelling-” You stopped as you realized that it wasn’t Bucky who had followed you up. You stood up, noting how Steve’s body basically took up the entire door frame. If he was attempting to be less threatening, it wasn’t working, “What do you want?”

“I can tell Bucky loves you very much, you know. And I don’t think he’s loved a lot of things in his life.” You thought about it for a moment. You never thought what Bucky showed you was love. He was cold and unforgiving most of the time. Steve stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him, “He cares for you but there are still some things he can’t give up yet. He’s a soldier. He’s always going to crave another mission and he knows he can’t bring the ones he loves into harm’s way.”

You thought there was truth in his words. Perhaps you just didn’t want to lose your trust in Bucky. 

“What do you want from me?”

Steve sighed, “Well, I suppose you can’t just use my resources and offer me nothing in return.”

“Sharon said I could help her-”

“Yes,” Steve agreed, closing the gap between the two of you, “You’ll help her and you’ll help me.”

“With what?” You asked, and before he could grab you, you kicked his shin. Hard. 

Steve grunted in pain and as you tried to run past him, he grabbed your leg. You fell to your hands and knees abruptly, still trying to pull away from him, “Where are you going to run-” You kicked your leg out, nailing the Captain in his nose. 

Now, you had really made him angry. Steve groaned, still not letting go of your leg, “He taught you a lot … but don’t be delusional, sweetheart.”

Steve pulled you into his body, grabbing your arms and pinning them behind your back. You heard the jingle of metal before you heard it click around both your wrist. Steve pulled you up from the ground, bending your body over the bed. You tried to kick but he spread your legs with his feet. 

He pulled your dress up and easily ripped off your underwear. 

You screamed, calling for Bucky, “Bucky told me where you come from. Think about it, I’m offering you another chance at your old life. White picket fence, kids running around in the yard,” There was a sudden slap to your behind and a tear slipped down your cheek.

Steve thought you were gorgeous. A baby was not the only thing he wanted from you. He wouldn’t mind having a face like yours walking around the settlement. 

The blood from his nose dripped down to your bottom as he undid his belt and unleash his member. It was already hard, the excitement of the situation having caused it. 

He licked his hand, reaching down to fill between your legs, “Already wet. He didn’t tell me that you liked pain,” Steve landed another, harder slap to your bottom and you cried out. 

“Steve, please,” You begged, “I’ll do anything.”

“You will. You’re going to give me a baby, gorgeous,” He hit you again and you felt his tip press against your entrance. He impaled himself inside you, holding onto your cuffed wrist as he moved in and out of you. Your eyes were wide, your mouth agape, as you felt him take you over. 

As his pace quickened, you bit down on the comforter to keep the moans from escaping your lips. His hands move to your waist, pulling your body back against him, so you couldn’t escape his assault. The position you were in seemed to allow him to hit a very sensitive spot, one that had you gasping for air and crying out at the same time. 

Steve could tell your body like it. You were squeezing his cock hard and your body was writing on the bed before him. He felt it when you tightened around him as you reached your climax, “What a needy. Little. Thing,” He grunted before flipping your body over. The handcuffs dug into your skin but all you could focus on was him. 

His thrusts became even deeper as he leaned over your body. He kissed your lips, his tongue exploring your mouth before he made his final thrusts inside of you. The Captain moaned into your mouth as warmth filled you. 

He breathed heavily, emptying himself inside you as he kissed your tears. You were still shaking when he pulled out of you. As he let go of you, you weakly tried to crawl away. Steve walked around the bed, watching you like a predator watches its prey. 

He flipped you back over, grabbing your wrist as he pulled you further onto the bed. After that, he placed a pillow beneath your hips, elevating you. 

He leaned down to where your face is, brushing your hair away so he could see you clearly, “You learned to like Bucky, you’ll do the same with me.”

You had no words left for him. Your fate was sealed from now. 

In this new world, there was little room for compassion. This was what Bucky must’ve meant. This was the long way down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you are forced to adapt to life in Liberty.

“What are you doing?”

You only laughed, shrugging off your boots and clothes. As Bucky watched you strip down to your underwear and bra, he only shook his head in disapproval. You stepped into the cold water of the small stream, letting it cool you down. 

“You coming, soldier?” You asked Bucky and he was silent until he finally gave him, sighing. You watched as he undressed by a tree, stripping down to his boxers. 

You knew Bucky didn’t like setting down his weapons or being away from our supplies. For some reason, today he was willing to let down his guards for a moment. 

He followed you into the water and, looking at his muscles, you could tell he was tense. You moved deeper into the water, watching as he followed you, “You want to play games, don’t you?” You smiled at his words, dipping your head under the water so you could feel the cool water through your scalp. 

When you came up for air, you were facing his chest, the water now covering your breasts. You looked up at him, “Sharks and minnows?”

“Who’s the shark?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, as though he already knew the answer. 

“Count to ten-” You sunk back into the water and pushed away from him. You swam away from him, enjoying the freedom you felt in the water, until he grabbed you by your feet. 

You came up from the water, gasping, “Too slow,” You heard him say as he pulled you into him. You held onto him for balance as you both treated the water, “You can’t get away from me, doll.”

+

You clutched your head as pain shot through you. The pounding headaches were constant and made the imperfect situation even worse. The summer was bringing waves of heat and the air conditioning you were used to was always on the fritz lately. It was going to be a long, hot summer. 

You rolled over on the bed to find Steve there were blue pills in his hand and a glass of water,”Here you go,” He handed them to you and you were eager to take them from him. You moaned as you sat up in the bed, the pain in your lower back adding to your discomfort, “Take these and stay in bed today. I’ll have one of the wives come check on you.”

You threw back the pills and then filled your mouth with water. Steve took the glass from you as you wiped your chin, “I’ve been in bed all week, Steve. Sharon needs me today.”

You hated the wives. They were all barren witches who were jealous of your relationship with Steve. It seemed everyone wanted the responsibility being Steve’s lover and the mother of his child, except for you. You even caught Sharon glancing at your stomach sometimes, jealousy and disdain in her eyes. Still, she was your only female friends here. 

Steve shook his head, his eyes clearly tired from the busy job of being an expectant father and leading this settlement. 

“I don’t want you straining yourself, Y/N,” Steve spoke softly. You noticed how much things had changed since you missed your period five months ago. Things had gone from him forcing himself on you for weeks on end, to him leaving soup by your bedside. 

“I’ll be careful,” You assured him, rubbing your temples.

Steve opened his mouth to argue but you heard his walkie-talkie go off, the static echoing through the room, “Captain, troop four is on the way back – we have an injury – Scott – he’s bitten.”

Steve cursed under his breath, “You know what to do. Go through the brain and use a knife. We don’t need anymore lurkers headed our way. I’ll tell his family,” He tucked the device back into his pocket before saying to you, “You don’t go anywhere without Sam.”

You only nodded. 

People also wanted the luxury of having Sam Wilson as a bodyguard. All Sam did was make you feel helpless. There was little trouble that was going to happen within the metal walls of the settlement yet Steve thought you needed constant protection. 

As Steve left the room, you laid back down, waiting for the painkillers to kick in. As much as you despised most people that lived in Liberty, you hated being alone more than anything. 

You hadn’t seen Bucky since that night at dinner. You decided a long time ago that it was a good thing that he hadn’t come back. He hurt you more than anyone ever had. He hurt you after knowing all that you’ve gone through. 

You ran a hand over your bulging stomach. You were at the point where there was no hiding your bump and, according to the baby books you found, there was a baby the size of a sweet potato inside of you. 

Sometimes you imagined having an ultrasound and hearing your baby’s heartbeat. Steve did what he could to get good medical supplies, he traded with his allies and sent his men on a long missions, but this was going to be nothing like a real pregnancy. If something went wrong, you’d be devastated, but you imagined Steve cared little about that. 

As far as you knew, he cared more about baby names. 

+

“Y/N?”

Your head darted up and you realized that you had zoned out. Sharon was in the middle of giving stitches and you were meant to be there to help hand her supplies. Lately, your mind had been flashing back to memories of Bucky and you hated it. You managed to slip into those memories even when there was a man screaming on the table before you. 

You passed Sharon another piece of string and she thanked you for it, “Keep still, John. I don’t want this to be crooked.”

The infirmary was previously a three car garage but now it was a full on operation that Sharon ran. Running errands for her was one of the jobs that people took when they couldn’t shoot well. To your current understanding, there weren’t a lot of people here who didn’t know how to defend themselves. Steve didn’t keep around anyone who wasn’t useful to him. 

You looked down at the man’s wound, the blood gushing from it, and you thought you might be sick, “Step out if you need to,” Sharon said. 

You swallowed the feeling, “No, I’m good. Just a … symptom.”

“You sure you don’t want me to take a look at you?” Sharon asked, still working on the stitches, “Are you eating regularly?”

“Too regularly. Enough rations for three people,” You answered. 

“I could take your blood pressure. Give you a checkup?”

“No, thank you,” The less you thought about the pregnancy, the better. You could barely handle the stress. 

You were interrupted when Sam pulled back the white curtain that was giving the three of you privacy. You could always tell he wasn’t thrilled to be babysitting you 24/7 but, unfortunately, Steve trusted him the most. “Your friend’s outside.”

“My friend?”

“Spiderboy,” Right. That’s what they called him because he was best at climbing and helping patch up the walls. 

“I’m not done here-”

“Go,” Sharon said, sharing a sad smile with you, “It’s slow today and you look like you’re about to vomit. I’ll see you at supper.”

“Call me if you need me, please,” You set down the tools you were holding, loosing a deep breath. As you stepped behind the curtain, you heard John cry out again. You lifted the mask you were wearing and Sam flashed you an annoying grin. 

You walked with him out of the infirmary, “You know, you should watch yourself around that boy. People around here get the wrong idea then Cap might get the wrong idea.”

“He’s just my friend,” You insisted, though Sam didn’t respond. The truth didn’t seem to matter, only what Captain thought, or maybe he was looking out for you. As you exited the infirmary, you found Peter leaning against the house. 

“Hey Peter,” A smile spread across his face as he spotted you. His eyes trailed down to your stomach and it only reminded you how obvious it was now. You wore a flowing dress in order to hide it but it clearly wasn’t working, “You got something for me?”

“Yeah,” He nodded and the two of you began to walk together on the sidewalk. Peter led the way and Sam stood a comfortable distance behind the two of you, his rifle strapped to his back. “Apparently Clint finally found the key to that weird door in his house. Turns out that it’s a library and it’s loaded.”

Peter was one few happy people you encountered in this place and you enjoyed being in his company. He was also the only one who seemed to care about reading. He’d explain his favorite science topics and you’d teach him about the classic novels you enjoyed. 

“Loaded? What kind of books are there?”

“You’ll see,” Was all he said, clearly teeming with excitement. 

It took the two of you about ten minutes to make your way through the neighborhood towards Clint’s house. It probably would’ve taken a shorter amount of time if you weren’t beginning to waddle instead of walk. Sam wanted to drive but you insisted that you weren’t helpless and it was a relatively short walk. 

Peter held his hand out to you and you grabbed it as he led you up the porch steps. You found yourself resting your other hand over your stomach even more lately, “I won’t be too long, Sam,” You shouted back at the irritated man. 

“Better not,” Was all you heard as you entered the house, causing your eyes to roll. 

The two of you were greeted by Laura, Clint’s wife, and she was more than excited to see you. She made sure to touch your belly and to ask how your pregnancy was going. You gave her the same speech that you gave to everyone, about how you were feeling good and how excited you were to have the baby. You couldn’t let it get back to Steve that you said something bad towards him. Everyone in the settlement saw him as some sort of God. 

She showed you upstairs to the room that was guarded by a rickety brown door. The library was a small room but each wall was covered in bookcases. You estimated that there had to be at least a thousand different books. As soon as you and Peter were alone, you began to scan the cases, 

You picked up Wuthering Heights and began to thumb through the pages. Not only did this person have the classics, they had special editions of them. The only furniture in the room was a bear fur carpet, a brown leather chair, a small side table and a lamp. Of course, Peter insisted that you sit down. 

“Can I ask how you are really feeling … about everything?” He picked out a couple books before sitting down on the carpet before you. 

“What’s the point? It’ll just get back to Steve anyways,” You spoke, not meeting his eyes. 

“I wouldn’t tell him anything you told me in private,” Peter assured you and, looking into those soft brown eyes, you almost believed him. He had good intentions, the boy was practically a puppy, but he wouldn’t understand what you’d gone through. 

“If Steve asked, you’d lie to him?” His face easily fell and you got your answer, “It’s okay, Peter. We’re all surviving here.”

“I’m sorry,” He said, “I do want to be a good friend to you, Y/N.”

“You are. You’ve been there for me and you actually want to spend time with me. I’d be stupid not to think you were a good friend,” You stated and his smile seemed to rise again at your words, “I think there’s one thing I’m happy about … “

Peter seemed to perk up. 

“I think she’d be on my side. She wouldn’t hurt me and I wouldn’t hurt her,” Peter understood what you meant, “Babies have to unconditionally love you, right? Isn’t that just science?”

“So you think it’s a girl?” You nodded, thinking about how badly Steve was hoping for a boy. Part of you wanted to disappoint him, “I think she’ll love you because of you. Because she’s going to have a wonderful mother. When the world is inevitably still a shitty place, you’re going to take care of her.”

You took a deep breath, his words seeking in deeply. Then you realized that your new motivation had to be her. No one else but her. 

“She’s starting to move around, especially when I’m trying to sleep,” You smiled a real smile as you thought about it. 

“Could I … “

You nodded, understanding what he was implying. You watched him move over to the leather chair and he placed a gentle hand on your protruding stomach. Both of you were quiet as you waited for her to talk to the both of you. It felt like butterflies fluttering around inside you and Peter’s eyes seemed to widen as he felt it too, “That’s … that’s amazing.”

“Yeah,” You agreed, “It is.”

You and Peter spent the next hour losing track of time. You recommended a few classics and he found you some books on child development and psychology. You were flipping it, analyzing a diagram of a human brain when Peter looked down at his watch and said, “Shit, it’s been an hour. We should go.”

Peter helped you from the chair and then held your hand on the way down the stairs, “We’re taking a few if that’s cool, Mrs. Barton!”

“Of course, Peter! Clint and I don’t have much time to read anyways.”

“Have a good day, Mrs. Barton,” You said as the two of you slipped out the front door. You turned to Peter to say, “As you finish The Great Gatsby, I wanna hear what you-”

Your face fell as you looked into the front yard. 

Bucky. 

+

Bucky remembered sitting at that table with Sharon. He remembered being able to hear the commotion coming from up the stairs and having to keep himself glued to his chair. He remembered holding his fork so hard that it broke in half. 

“You know, once she has the baby, things can go back to how they were. Steve knows that I’ll be there to take care of it.”

Bucky turned his head toward her, his eyes narrowing in suspicion, “You want this baby too?”

“I can’t have any so why not? Steve wants a family and Y/N … she’s not … Look, she has the baby and the two of you will leave, right?”

Bucky’s eyes hardened at the woman as he stood up from the table, “Tell Steve that I’m starting my first mission early.”

Steve needed a mercenary. Someone who could handle their own and travel back and forth from settlement to settlement, setting up deals and means of trade. Bucky was sure that the opportunity would be good for him. 

Now, Bucky was looking at the girl he abandoned. He never believed Steve when he said that she was pregnant but now he could see that he was only being delusional. The way you were glowing despite the obvious disdain in your face, was clear as day. 

He hated how frilly you looked. It reminded him of how fragile you were when he first saved you from that gas station. 

“Parker, don’t you have watchtower duty?” Steve snapped at the younger boy. He was still holding onto your arm but pulled away like your skin was on fire. Bucky saw the way your face was lighting up when you talked to him and how quickly the joy left your body as you saw him. 

“Y-Yes, I’m sorry, Captain,” The younger boy bowed his head slightly towards Steve before running off. Steve took a step forward, holding his hand out to you, as you walked down the porch steps. Bucky noted the few books you were holding and, noticing the baby pictures on the back, he assumed they were study materials. 

“You don’t have to talk to him like that,” He heard you say to Steve.

“I sent you to work, not to flirt with freshman,” You glanced past Steve towards Bucky. He still couldn’t totally read your reaction. There was hate there, yes, but what would you say to him? What would he say to you?

Bucky saw a fake smile spread across her face, “I’m already pregnant, Steve. It’s not like he can knock me up,” Bucky watched as Steve’s muscles tensed. You seemed to know that Steve wouldn’t explode on you in daylight, not when his loyal citizens were enjoying their sunny day, “Can we go home, please?”

Home. 

Bucky knew your word choice was purposeful. He deserved the pain you inflicted. 

“You don’t want to say hello to Buck? He’s here to stay for a few weeks.”

There was a small pause, “It’s hot and I’m tired.”

+

Your mission to distract yourself was not entirely unsuccessful. In fact, something decent had come from it. You had managed to knit your first piece of baby clothing. You held the small pink shirt in your hands and started to imagine the small creature. You stood up from the rocking chair in the nursery and walked over to the dresser. 

Steve had painted the room a mint green and had his men move the nursery furniture inside. Sometimes you thought about the baby that these things used to belong to. Had the parents fled with their child? Was the baby still alive? The answer was likely no but you couldn’t help but be hopeful. 

You opened the drawer, placing the shirt beside the other clothes, as the nursery door opened. 

As you looked up to see Bucky in the doorway, you slammed the drawer shut, “Y/N, I know you hate me-”

“I don’t hate you,” You interrupted him, “I’ve had six months to get over it.”

Bucky couldn’t tell if you were being truthful. The look in your eyes was fiery, 

Looking around the room, Bucky felt a pang in his heart. He was so used to not feeling anything at all that he thought he might collapse as the feeling rushed through him. 

“Bucky, if you’re here to clear your conscious-”

“You’re still mine, doll,” Your heart began to race as he stepped closer, “I should have never let this happen but I’m going to fix things.”

“I don’t need you to fix things,” You stated firmly though you felt your bottom lip starting to wobble. It was just the hormones, you reminded yourself, that were making you emotional, “I’m fine … I’m fine with how things are.”

“You are?” Bucky could tell you were lying, “You want to raise this baby with Steve.”

“You didn’t give me a fucking choice, Buck! Excuse me-” Your voiced crack and the tears began to fall, “Excuse me for adapting.”

He grabbed your arm and pulled you closer as you began to hyperventilate. For a moment, you embraced him. You welcomed that familiar comfort that you had been craving for months until you thought about her. 

“You were safer here without me. I thought I was making the right decision but … As soon as the baby is here and you recover, we’re leaving. Steve and Sharon get what they want. You and I get back on the road. It’ll be like old times-”

You shook your head and pushed him away, “There are no more old times. You made sure of that.”

“If this is about the baby then you can come back and visit-”

“It’s my baby. Not yours. Not even Steve’s or Sharon’s. I’m not going anywhere without her.”

“Y/N-”

“Bucky, do you love me? I … I-I loved you. Did you ever love me?”

Silence fell between the two of you for a moment. You needed to see if he could risk his pride for just one moment to be vulnerable with you, “Of course I did. I still do.”

“You’ve never acted like it. Not even now …. I love this baby and I’m going to protect her. Steve loves her too …. He’s not what I want but maybe he’s what she needs. He can protect her …”

You felt like a weight fell off your shoulders. You realized that the answer you wanted all this time wasn’t needed. You didn’t need his love. 

“I’m going to show you,” Bucky assured you, his heart crumbling to pieces, “And I’m going to try harder. To love you better. To love her.”

Suddenly, the door opened and Sharon appeared, “Steve needs anyone he can get. Walkers swarmed the east side of the wall and the section is about to cave in.”

You didn’t say another word as the dark stranger left you once again.You didn’t know if you’d ever trust him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: harryspet


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which your world is shaken again and you’re forced to run back to your first safe haven.

T H E N E X T S P R I N G 

“She recognizes you,” You said, watching Peter’s eyes widen as the baby smiled up at him. It was currently tummy time in the living room and the two of you laid beside her, watching her explore her environment, “That’s Uncle Peter, right Margot?”

You watched her little fingers wrap around her little toys as she proceeded to put them in her mouth to taste them. Six whole months had passed since she was welcomed to this scary world and she’d already grown so much, “It’s me, Margot. It’s me,” Peter spoke in a cute voice and the baby proceeded to babble something incoherent, “Bet you I can get her to say Peter before she says Mama.”

You rolled your eyes at that as you continued to watch her, “You will be saying Mama first, missy,” You told her though she was only focused on a bright orange ring toy. You could look at her little face for hours on hours. You hadn’t felt true love until you laid eyes on her. 

The long journey it took you to get here only made you love her more. You were lucky that she didn’t come too early. God forbid you needed a c-section or she was facing the wrong way. You wanted her to survive and that’s all you hoped and prayed for. When you lost too much blood and began to pass out, you were still happy knowing she’d be okay. 

You didn’t think you would make it. Sharon did her best to give you the best care she could but modern medicine wasn’t available to you. You were sick and on bed rest for the first two months she was alive so now you were enjoying the time when you could move around with her. During the time you were unconscious, Steve had made the considerate decision to name the baby Margaret after some long lost love. 

Margaret Rogers. 

You refused to call her that and decided on a nickname of your own choosing.

“C’mere, Margot,” You sat up, lifting the baby into your lap, “Let me show you something cool, Peter.” 

Peter sat up too, his eyes confused as you removed one of her little socks. She was still happily waving around the toy as you ran a finger down the sole of her foot. Her little toes spread out like a little fan, “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Peter declared and you giggled. 

“It’s called the Babinski reflex. It might go away as early as twelve months so I’m going to savor the cuteness,” You encouraged Peter to try it too and the boy seemed to swoon over Margot. You moved the baby into his lap, continuing to tell him about all the little milestones that Margot was passing. 

“She’s like a sponge, it’s amazing,” Peter said, bouncing the little girl in his lap, “Do you get any sleep?”

You nodded, “I’m up by five every morning but I’m used to it now. If she wakes up while I’m sleeping, Steve takes care of her. Luckily, she’s sleeping through the night.”

“Such a sweet girl,” Peter cooed, “I’m sure you’d never cause Mommy any problems.” You were lucky that Margot’s temperament was easy. She got frustrated like all other babies but she wasn’t very sensitive. You thought it meant she’d do well in a world like this. 

The two of you spent more time with Margot but your peace and serenity was interrupted when both Steve and Bucky returned home. You always got the feeling that they disliked Peter being around but that never stopped you from being friends with him. Peter probably cared more for you then both of them combined. 

“It’s getting late, son,” You heard Steve say, his deep voice trying to be as authoritarian as it could. Steve scared Peter, you could tell that much. 

“I’ll go then,” Peter rushed out, handing the little girl back to you. Margot seemed a bit upset at his absence and you held her to you in order to keep her calm. You knew it was useless to argue about this with Steve and you doubted Bucky would have your back. 

You stood up from your place on her baby blanket, using Margot’s hand to wave goodbye, “Say bye-bye, Peter,” The little girl only mumbled something incoherent, “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Margot. Goodbye, Y/N,” Peter smiled before walking out of the living room. The room went silent as Peter made his way to the front door and tension only increased 

Steve walked over to greet his daughter, lifting her from your arms, “Hello, honey-bear,” Margot’s mood seemed to lift again as she recognized her Daddy and Steve’s hard exterior softened. When they were together, it reminded you how alike they looked. He lifted the giggling girl, taking a whiff of her bottom, “You need a change, don’t you?”

“I can do it-”

Steve interrupted you, “No, I’ve got it. Daddy’s gonna change you, yes he is.” 

“Wash your hands please,” You told Steve who was too focused on the tiny creature. As Steve walked away to climb the stairs, your eyes met with Bucky’s. Although you liked that he was forced to face the consequences of his actions, you knew that he was still chasing your affection. He was facing his demons in order to get closer to you. 

“Catch anything good?” You asked, leaning down to collect all the toys. There was a lake just outside the compound limits that Steve and Bucky frequented for their “time to just be a man” where they liked to go fishing. 

“Nothing alive,” Bucky said, following you as you walked into the kitchen. You put the toys into the sink, turning the warm water on in order to clean them. Bucky leaned against the counter and you felt his gaze burning into you, “It’s still pretty peaceful out there, we didn’t run into any walkers. I was thinking we could go out there together, you could take a break like you deserve.”

“Go out there and do what?” You asked, your eyes not meeting his. 

“I don’t know, have a picnic or something.”

“Or something?” You scoffed, scrubbing at the toys, “Sounds romantic.”

Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line of frustration, “I’m trying here. I’m not good at … romantic stuff.”

“To say the least,” You added, “Bucky, I don’t need or want a break. I’m perfectly content right now.”

“You’re sure about that? You don’t have any other needs begging to be met?” You scowled at him, knowing what he was hinting at. Steve had barely touched you since you started showing and, after the rough birth, he wasn’t willing to rush into trying for a boy. 

“I’m sure.”

+

“Looks like both the girls are down for the night,” Steve said, letting out a sigh as he sat in his desk chair. Bucky sat in the chair in front of Steve’s desk, his feet kicked up on the desk. 

“What about Sharon?”

Steve rubbed his temples at the mention of the woman, “She’s been working late at the infirmary. She won’t tell me but I know it’s because my attention has been elsewhere,” Bucky was beginning to doubt Steve’s feeling for Sharon in the first place. It seemed Steve was ready to completely let the woman go due to her infertility, “I don’t really care if she doesn’t come back. Y/N and I can handle things on our own.”

Bucky only nodded, his mind already wandering elsewhere. Steve noted his friend’s frustration and wondered why the man continued to bother with you. Even after all this time, Bucky still didn’t have anyone else on his mind, “What’s on your mind, Buck?”

Bucky’s fingers rubbed over his facial hair as he thought, “That Peter kid.”

Right away, Steve understood. It had been a topic they avoided despite knowing how each other felt about it, “What about him?”

“You don’t think he spends a little too much time around here? With your daughter?”

Steve didn’t believe Peter was any real threat to his family here. Steve saw him as a distraction for you. Someone who helped you forget your worries, “This is about her, Buck. You don’t want him around her.”

“Fine,” Bucky threw up his hands in defeat, “I think he’s getting in the way of Y/N letting me in again. She has Peter to be there and tell her everything’s going to be alright so she doesn’t need me.”

“Tell her not to see him then. Matter of fact, tell him to stay away,” Steve spoke simply, the solution obvious in his mind. 

“If she knows I had something to with it, it’ll make things worse. I have to be the good guy in her eyes.”

Steve smiled, a lightbulb going off in his mind, “Shall I be the bad guy then?”

Bucky moved his feet, leaning forward in his chair, “What are you thinking?”

“I still need someone to replace you. Someone to travel and relay messages between our camp and my allies. Peter could fill the position for the time being,” Bucky didn’t think over it long before he agreed. All that was on his mind was winning you back and this would only help his cause, “I need to keep up appearances around here anyways. We don’t need some kid running around here with our girls, right?”

“Right,” Bucky said, his mind on you, “Thanks, Steve.”

“No need, Buck. We have to look out for each other. Besides that, I think it’s a good time to ask you to be my second in command.”

+

Margot was a complete celebrity in Liberty. You couldn’t walk on the street without people coming up to wave or to get a look at her. Margot was good with strangers which only solidified her position as princess of this place. 

It was a sunny spring day and you had dressed her in a floral dress and a pink bow. You carried her in one hand and held a tupperware of deserts in the other hand. Sam wasn’t far behind but that hadn’t changed in the past year. 

“We’re going to find uncle Peter, yes we are,” You cooed to the little girl who was energized from her latest nap, “And he’s going to love the cookies we made him.”

You eventually got to the barracks where Steve’s group of soldiers usually stayed, you walked through the long lines of bunk beds to find his. As you passed some men, all of them burly and intimidating, they even waved hello to your little one. 

As you approached Peter’s bunk you found it empty, only a mattress sitting on top of the metal. All of his comics and textbooks were nowhere to be found. You searched around for the nearest person and found a group of older men playing some dice game, “Excuse me, do you know where Peter Parker is today? He slept over there,” You asked, pointing to Peter’s bunk. 

“Packed up early this morning,” The man said, “Think he got reassigned.”

“Reassigned where?” You asked.

“Something outside of the compound. Poor kid.”

Your heart started pounding heavily as you turned back to Sam, “Take me to Steve. Now.”

“He’s on duty-”

“Find him and take me to him, Sam.”

+

Margot was screaming in your eyes mostly because she sensed how upset you were. As soon as you approached Steve, he swooped the little girl into his arms, trying to calm her, “What the hell are you doing?” Steve asked. He came down from one of the watchtowers, a rifle still strapped to his back, as he saw you approaching with Sam. 

“Peter? Where did you send him?”

Steve sighed, “Y/N-”

“Where did you send him?” You shouted back. 

“I needed a new emissary and he volunteered to do it,” Steve stated simply. 

“By himself? He’s a kid, Steve!” Margot cried louder but your blood was boiling, “You’re going to get him killed!”

“We all have to earn our keep around here, Y/N. Some people put their lives on the line for a chance to live here and then people like you spread your legs for it. That’s how it works, sweetheart.”

“You’re a fucking monster,” You spat at him. 

+

Bucky scoured the camp looking for you for a good hour. You were sitting at the bottom of a big tree, staring out into a small field. Where the field ended, the wall began. Bucky startled you when he suddenly appeared and you were quick to try and wipe away your tears. 

He took a seat beside you, leaning his back against the tree. This area of the camp was peaceful, it was no wonder that you had taken a liking to it. 

“What are you doing here?” You asked, your face in a frown. 

“I thought you didn’t need a break,” Bucky said, avoiding your question. 

“This isn’t a break,” You said softly, “You’re supposed to feel relaxed on a break-” As your voice cracked and the tears started falling again, Bucky wrapped an arm around your soldier. You leaned into him and sobbed into his shoulder. 

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” You tried to speak as you choked on your sobs.

“He’ll be back, I promise” Bucky stated, “Probably sooner than you think. The kid can handle himself.”

“He shouldn’t have to. Margot shouldn’t have to,” You said, “It isn’t fair.”

Bucky rubbed your shoulder, drawing lines on your skin with his fingers, “I know, doll.”

It was like losing your family all over again. It was worse than losing them. At least you knew they were dead. You wouldn’t know if he was alive or dead and, if something happened, you wouldn’t even know how it happened. There were so many things outside of the walls that could get you killed. 

You pulled away from Bucky gently, realizing how long it had been since you’d been in his arms. Looking into those blue eyes gave you a weird sense of familiarity. Of home, “Maybe you could talk to Steve? For me?”

Bucky nodded, “Of course, doll.”

You stared at his moment and Bucky noted the way your gaze traveled to your lips. Bucky reached over to wipe a tear from your cheek. He couldn’t hide how attracted to you he was, even when you were crying. Bucky placed a soft, hesitant kiss on your cheek, “Everything’s going to be okay. All I should worry about is your little one.”

You took a deep breath, nodding in agreement. 

It must’ve been the emotions or the off-balance hormones because, when Bucky leaned into your lips, you didn’t stop him. In fact, you welcomed that touch. The soft kisses soon became more desperate and hungry. Your lips were angry, demanding as they moved against his. 

It shocked Bucky as much as it did to you. Bucky was elated but he had little time to celebrate you being back in his clutches. You were hungry for something and he was going to make sure you were satisfied. 

Bucky pulled you into his lap and, as you straddled him you said, “Just this once.”

“Just this once,” Bucky agreed, knowing the opposite would be true. 

Your lips devoured each other and Bucky explored your mouth with his hands pulled down the straps of your sundress. As your breast sprang free, he palmed them his hand. The cold of his metal hand sent shivers down your spine but Bucky warmed you again with his mouth. He played with your nipple in his mouth causing you to bite down on your lips. 

Your hands ran through his hair as you savored the feeling. As he moved his mouth away, his head tilted up at you, “You’re so beautiful,” Bucky said and you rolled your eyes, leaning down to undo his belt and zipper. 

“Just fuck me, okay?” Bucky grabbed you by your ass roughly pulling you into him. He reached under your dress, tucking your underwear to the side as he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel how hard he already was and the idea of him filling you up was making your mouth water with anticipation. 

As you slowly impaled yourself on his cock, your mouth was agape. You realized how full he made you fill, how complete you felt. Bucky held your hips as you began to bounce up and down. Bucky groaned huskily, loving how your face contorted to different expressions as the pleasure went through you. 

As you tried to contain your moans, Bucky placed kisses along your jaw and then on your neck. He felt all your anger and sadness as you used it as motivation, moving your body hard against his. 

The two eventually met your climaxes together, your body shaking as you rode out the rest of the wave. You breathed heavily, leaning against his body. You tucked your head into his shoulder and Bucky simply wrapped his arms around you. 

“Say you won’t leave again,” You whispered.

“I won’t leave you ever again, doll.”

+

The next day you awoke beside Bucky. You watched him as he slept peacefully, his hand over his shirtless chest and his chest slowly rising and falling. That “just this once” had turned into four times which you were sure he was happy with. You had to admit that you didn’t have that morning-after regret that you expected. Bucky had done such horrible things to you and yet he managed to bring you joy like no other. 

You hated that you ran back after resisting for so long but, without Peter, you were once again feeling completely lost. Being with Bucky reminded you of simpler times and, despite the hell you knew it would bring, it was worth it just to feel that comfort. 

Suddenly, you heard commotion coming from downstairs, glass shattering and Steve’s booming voice traveled through the air. You shook Bucky awake as you began to throw on some clothes, “Bucky, something’s going on!” You threw on some boots and Bucky put on a t-shirt before the two of you filed out of your room. 

You heard your little girl wailing and you followed the sound. You found the front door wide open and quickly ran out of it. As you moved down the porched steps, the sight before you stopped your heart. Steve was holding Margot in one hand and a pistol in the other. A pistol that was pointing at a begging and pleading Sharon. 

Bucky tried to grab your hand but you ran towards him, “Steve, what the hell are you doing?” Your eyes widened even more as you noticed that Margot had no clothes on except for a checkered dishtowel and her skin was wet.

Steve handed you the child but kept the gun pointed at the woman. By now, everyone had filed out of their homes and were watching the chaos, “She tried to drown our baby,” Was all he said, shaking with anger. 

“I-I would never!” Sharon shouted back, her hands up as she laid on the gravel, “Please-”

“I fucking saw you!” Steve shouted back and you felt Bucky’s arm pulling you away. You stepped back with him, knowing that if the gun went off that you didn’t want Margot anywhere near it. 

Your eyes connected with Sharon’s and there was only pure hatred there. She didn’t even look sorry for what she was being accused of, “I was helping! I was taking care of her! You know me, Steve!”

Steve didn’t believe her and you hated that you didn’t either. Was she really capable of something like this? All because of jealousy? Jealousy over a life that you didn’t even want. 

“You weren’t even supposed to be in my house!” You watched as Steve cocked the gun, “You’re lucky I walked in when I did. If you had gotten away with hurting my little Margaret, I would’ve dismembered you piece by piece and I would’ve enjoyed it. Consider this a blessing.”

“Steve, don’t-” You pressed yourself into Bucky, trying to protect the crying child in your arms as the gun went off and the blonde woman fell limp. 

Steve tucked the weapon into his belt, his muscle still tense, as he tried not to contain whatever emotions were coursing through him, “Early start today. Everyone get to work!” Steve shouted to every citizen who was listening, “And get her body off my fucking street!”

Silence fell over the small town of Liberty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: harryspet


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you’re pushed to your limits.

W I N T E R

Fighting was a dance.

Perfectly choreographed, you could defeat your partner but you believed luck was still a factor in whether you lived or died. Bucky didn’t believe in luck and he didn’t want you to rely on it. Walkers didn’t fight like humans but training with Bucky was making you stronger. Whether you encountered walkers or other humans, you could handle yourself.

He didn’t show you any mercy as his leg quickly moved behind yours, kicking up and effectively tripping you. You collided with the old mat and winced. You opened your eyes to find Bucky standing over you, his hand held out to you.

“Brush it off,” He told you and you grabbed a hold of his hand, allowing him to help you up.

You stood your ground, a bead of sweat dripping down your brow and you stared back at your opponent. Anyone could see that you were at a disadvantage when comparing yourself to the soldier but Bucky warned you not to underestimate yourself.

When he attacked this time, he went for your neck. You struggled for only a second as his hands tightened around your neck. You brought your arm up, twisting your body, and slamming your arm down over his. As his hands loosened on your neck, you grabbed a hold of them, before slamming your elbow back into his face with a loud grunt.

You were free then and Bucky was gripping his bruised cheek, “Good,” He said, his tone was a bit surprised, “That was good.”

You breathed heavily, your hands on your hip. You had been at it for hours like usual. Ever second Bucky wasn’t working, you were with him. After Peter left six months ago, the two of you had grown much closer. Though his actions were always in the back of your mind, you admired the effort he was putting into your relationship. Besides that, he was getting much better with Margot.

Bucky walked with you to get water. The training room was a makeshift tent that barely kept the cold out but neither of you seemed to mind when you were sweating so much. In fact, the two of you ran every morning around the compound.

After taking a swig of your water, you said, “Can you teach me that move from yesterday? The one where you use your thighs to-”

Bucky was looking past you, clearly not paying attention to you. You raised an eyebrow before turning around. Your eyes widened as you took in the site in front of you. You dropped your bottle, successfully spilling your water, before breaking off into a sprint.

You wrapped your arms around the boy you hadn’t seen for months. The one you feared would never return, “It’s nice to see you too,” Peter chuckled, a hand roaming over your back. You squeezed him tight, noticing how much stronger he felt, and the emergence of stumble along his cheek and neck. When you pulled away, you took another look at you. It was like he’d aged a few years yet that same look of kindness remained.

“I never thought you’d- I …” You couldn’t find the words as you tried to process it all. All you could do was smile and check to see that he was still in one piece.

“Well I’m real,” You hadn’t noticed who was standing a few feet behind him. You paused as you took in her appearance. The awkward, thin grin across her face and the long, coils of her hair that she was hiding behind, “Y/N, this is MJ.”

“Hi,” She spoke hesitantly. Your cheeks heated a bit as you realized that you were staring. You walked past Peter and held your hand out to her, “Peter told me so much about you.” The way she looked at him tugged at your heart. You could sense what was going on between them and it made you feel elated. Not only was Peter alive, but he had also found his person.

“I want to know everything,” You told them, a wide grin on your face, “Dinner, tonight.”

+

Say you won’t leave again.

I won’t leave you ever again, doll.

Bucky’s words always echoed in your mind. Months had passed since he uttered them and you could still wrap your arms around him anytime you wanted. As far as you knew, Bucky was keeping his word this time.

Moments ago, Bucky had pulled you into the bedroom you shared. His hands roamed roughly over your skin, his hands like fire, scorching you with passion. He grabbed your jaw with his hand, turning your head as he roughly kissed at your neck.

You held him tightly, your gaze wandering towards the window where snow was falling in heavy sheets. Although he was in the moment, you quickly fell out of it. Bucky paused as he felt your body stiffen. He finally looked up, resting his hands on the wall as he stared into your eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“Good things don’t happen without a cost in this world. Peter’s back, he’s alive, but I get this sense that ….” You took a breath, “T-That it’s all going to go wrong again.”

Bucky sighed, shaking his head, “I’m not the world’s authority on thinking positive but, I do know that waiting for the worse is no way to live. He’s here now, why not just appreciate the time you have now?”

You were silent for a moment as you stared into the crystals he called eyes. Bucky was always one for tough love and, although he was still a man of few words, you sensed compassion in his words that you hadn’t noticed before.

You nodded in agreement, “You’re right.”

“Besides,” Bucky shrugged, “The kid basically has a girlfriend now. He’s got another person looking out for him. He’s not alone.”

You pecked Bucky’s lips, “I forgot about words like girlfriend,” You wrapped your arms around his neck and Bucky hands moved down to your waist, “Am I your girlfriend, Buck?”

An amused look crossed his face, “I’ll call you whatever you want as long as you’re mine,” Bucky lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. Your lips smashed together as he carried you towards the bed. As your back hit the mattress, you were already stripping away your clothes.

You and Bucky had gotten quite good at having quickies. With taking care of Margot, and Steve around barking orders, you had to be able to do it quickly and efficiently. In no time was Bucky pinning your hands above your hand and entering you with a rough thrust.

He moved in and out of you with a power like no other. You swallowed each other’s moans as your mouths moved against each other. Warmth spread through your body as he crashed into your body like waves against a rocky shore.

You were completely one and you didn’t believe you could possibly get any closer than you were now. Your world moves slowly which you were grateful for, you were glad to enjoy the moment with him. As you both reached the top of the mountain, you were completely his.

The bed shook with the two of you as Bucky finished on your stomach. Bucky breathed heavily, his long hair falling down messily. You began to kiss again but both of you were startled when the door to your room opened.

“Steve!” You shouted, grabbing your shirt to toss it back over your head. Bucky hurriedly began to pull up his jeans and fasten his belt.

“Jesus fucking christ, Steve,” Bucky cursed as his friend entered the room.

Steve didn’t seem bothered as he looked the two of you over. He only crossed his muscular arms and said. “Your guests are downstairs. You should probably get dinner started, Y/N, and Margaret needs a changing.”

You checked your watch which you always forgot was running five minutes late.

“Get out,” You spoke through gritted teeth and Steve only smirked.

“I’ll be in my room if you two lovebirds need me.”

+

You watched from the kitchen as Peter and MJ played with the small one-year-old in the living room. They were helping her walk across the living room by holding both her little hands. Your little one was very active, especially after her naps, and you found it difficult to keep her in one place at a time.

She was also teething like crazy and the only times you got any peace and quiet was when she was with Steve. The two of you were like divorced parents living in the same house, designating times for the two of you to spend time with her. Any time you didn’t have to spend with Steve was also glorious.

Margot babbled loudly, using the few new words she had learned how to say. She was responding to her own name and saying Mama and Dada. She even said Bucky which sounded more like “uh-ee” on her tongue.

She was also starting to look more like Steve every day.

“Smells good,” Bucky said, reaching into the cabinets to grab plates. You were lucky that Steve got the best food rations which meant your household had the luxury of pasta. You continued to stir the pot of pasta, sauce, and vegetables from the lands the people Liberty farmed.

You only smiled as he started to set the table. Your smile didn’t last long as Steve jogged down the stairs, “Veggie pasta,” Steve clapped his hands together, “My favorite.”

You turned off the stove, watching him take a seat at the head of the table, “I didn’t realize you’d be joining us,” You said, a fake smile on your face. Bucky only continued to set the table. You’d promised him you wouldn’t start any arguments with Steve and simply ignore his attempts to get under your skin.

“It’s my home, isn’t it?” The man didn’t even look you in the eyes.

You rolled your eyes.

“Dinner’s ready!” You announced, using your mittens to carry the pot over to the table. You felt a soothing hand on your back and took a deep breath.

Peter and MJ entered the kitchen, Margot was happily placed in Peter’s arms. It had been months but the little girl seemed to remember her old friend. She fussed when you tried to put her in her own highchair so you let her sit in Peter’s lap.

The six of you sat down for a much quieter meal than you were expecting. You and Bucky sat across from Peter and MJ and for a long while you only ate in silence. The candlelights illuminating the table flickered and all that could be heard was Margot’s babbling as she chewed on her own fingers.

Steve finally cut through the tension. “I’m not making it awkward, am I?” He asked a thin grin on his lips.

You were silent until Peter spoke up, “Of course not, Captain.”

You hated that Steve could send the boy to his death and Peter still had to keep up the formalities. Steve responded with a heavy, patronizing pat on Peter’s shoulder, “This one,” He gestured to MJ, “Where’d you find her?”

The two teenagers opened their mouths to speak and their eyes met as they realized they had spoken at the same time. Peter smiled awkwardly, signaling her to tell her own story, adoration in his eyes as he looked at her, “I-I had a group for a while. There were only about ten of us and … well, what happens to everyone happened to us. Walkers and raiders picked us off until it was only me. I was alone for a few months before I met Peter.”

“I entered her camp thinking it was abandoned. She thought I was a walker and almost shot my arm off,” Peter bounced the little girl in his lap. He was smiling at a memory that most would consider traumatic.

“Sounds romantic,” Steve chuckled and you noticed something darken in Steve’s eyes, “Well, you’re welcome here in Liberty. Everyone here knows what it’s like to lose family, I hope you find a new one here …. What’s your name again, sweetheart?”

“Michelle … but people call me MJ,” Steve’s mouth pulled into a wider grin and you felt sick to your stomach. You were the only one in the room that seemed to notice the way he was looking at the younger girl, “Thank you, Captain Rogers.”

“I’m sure Y/N will find you a job here. There’s plenty to be done,” Steve finally spared you a second glance but you didn’t maintain eye contact.

You simply faced the girl and smile, “Of course.”

You’d make sure that the job was far away from Steve.

+

“Bucky, be careful!” You shouted but both Margot and Bucky were already speeding away. Bucky had made a sled and was pulling the bundled up baby along the snow-covered sidewalk. By the way, she was screaming, you could she was having fun.

Things were slow around the camp for the last few days. With the thick snow, the walkers had slowed down and you hadn’t seen any packs of them for a while. There wasn’t much use in going out for supplies when trucks could get stuck in the snow so Steve officially declared the holidays could begin.

You remembered being extremely pregnant and extremely miserable last year during this time. Now, you could enjoy Christmas with Bucky and Margot.

You walked along the sidewalk, catching up to them. You wrapped your winter jacket closer to you as a shiver went through you, “See, she loves it,” Bucky grinned, proud of his little invention, “She’s a little daredevil.”

He kneeled down to lift her up and you couldn’t help but notice how good he looked with her. His growing paternal instincts were yet another thing to make you hopelessly attracted to him.

You moved closer, grabbing her little hand in yours, “You’ve been out here for a while, little daredevil,” You spoke softly to her and she continued to babble, “You want Bucky to give you a warm bath? … you do, don’t you?”

Margot was her happy self as usual, “Of course you do,” You noticed Bucky’s voice go up an octave and it made your heart flutter. You didn’t mention it, fearing he’d probably stop if you pointed it out, “Your Mommy just doesn’t put the care and love that I do into it.” You nudged his side playfully.

The three of you walked back towards the house together, “I’m going to ask Steve about us getting our own place. Or at least a place without him in it. I’d live in the barracks at this point.”

“He won’t let you take Margot with us,” Bucky spoke solemnly.

“She’ll just split her time between us,” You shrugged, “Parents did that stuff before all of this. Why can’t we do it now?”

“Because he thinks he owns her.”

Your shoulders slumped as you let out an angry breath of air, “I’m still going to talk to him. If I annoy him enough, maybe he’ll listen.”

The three of you returned back into the warm house. After kicking off your boots and jackets, you left Margot and Bucky downstairs. You climbed the stairs and made your way to Steve’s office where you knew he had been all day, barking orders from his luxurious tower.

You knocked on the door, but you did not expect to see the person who answered. Your heart stopped as you realized it was her. “Hi, Y/N. Have you seen Peter?” MJ asked you, an innocence in her eyes that you missed in your own. You couldn’t find the words so you simply shook your head, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Captain Rogers.”

You watched as Steve waved goodbye from behind his desk. The girl brushes past you and you stood, flabbergasted, for a moment. You collected yourself, walking inside the office, before closing the door behind you.

“Where’s Margot?” Was the first thing he uttered and your hands balled into fist as you stared at the cocky man before you.

“What the hell are you doing, Steve?” You squeezed your hands tight, feeling your own blood pumping inside your chest.

“I asked you something-”

“No, no, you don’t get to do that,” You pointed an accusing finger, “Your daughter is fine. I’m asking about the girl that just left your office.”

“I didn’t think she was useful in the infirmary, I wanted to talk to her about making changes,” Steve spoke simply, his hands folding against his desk as he leaned forward.

“But that’s where I assigned her. You told me that I could choose,” You tried to keep your voice calm.

“I was being courteous. I assumed you’d make a good decision but it’s slow in the infirmary and they don’t need any helping hands.”

“What job did you decide on then?” You persisted.

Silence fell as Steve looked you over. He never guessed that you’d care so much about a girl you didn’t know, especially since that girl would be the one to take the heat off of you. Steve sighed, pushing back in his chair and standing up from his chair. As he spoke, he stalked around the desk, “I thought she could help with Margot. I know you and Bucky have wanted to be alone for a while. The Barton’s are willing to welcome you two into their home permanently and, when Margot is here with me, MJ is going to help me take care of her.”

You shook your head, “S-Steve, this … this is fucked up even for you,” You knew exactly what Steve planned to do with MJ and because she wants to belong here with Peter, the girl is going to fall for it, “Why?”

“Doll, it’s not like you’re going to give me a boy anytime soon,” Was his simple, disgusting answer.

“Why do you want this so bad? So bad that you would ruin other people’s lives for it?” He moved closer but you stood your ground and your strong gaze did not falter.

“You wouldn’t understand,” The two of you stood toe to toe, Steve staring down at you as his fingers brushed over a loose strand of hair. He gently brushed it behind your ears, “But I am going to make my mark on the new world.”

You scoffed, “You want to be a fucking founding father?” Steve faltered, you watched as he tried to keep his face from turning to anger. You were proud of yourself for pushing the right buttons, “Walking around and making people call you Captain only makes you look like a cult leader, not anyone worth remembering.“

He moved forward, practically bulldozing you until your back was pressed against the wall, “You are nothing. Your life is worth so little that you could not possibly understand,” He spoke with gritted teeth, the veins in his head starting to bulge out, “The only reason I haven’t killed you is because of Buck but now I don’t think you’re even worth that. Do you want that? I wouldn’t have to worry about you yapping in my ear.”

It was then that you realized that you were losing your leverage. As much as you wanted to anger him, this wasn’t the fight that needed to be had, “Fine, it’s your fucking world, Steve. Just find someone else to help you. Haven’t you done enough to Peter?”

His exterior seemed to soften but only a little bit, “It would save you a lot of hurt if you stopped caring so much.”

“Steve,” You stated firmly, “Just leave her alone.”

If you gave me a son, I wouldn’t have to hurt her,” Steve countered, his hand starting to trail down your shoulder and then to your waist, “Break Bucky’s heart but save her, huh?”

Your muscles were tight as his hands roamed over your body but you didn’t fight him. You could do it all over again if that meant that MJ could have the family she wanted and that Peter would have her. Even if it killed you this time, you could do it to protect them.

“O-Okay,” You nodded, tears threatening to sting your eyes, “Not now, please.”

He seemed to ignore you as he pulled you away from the wall, pushing you back towards the desk. You stumbled as your backside pressed against the desk but Steve moved quickly, pushing you down so you were bending over the desk, “Steve!” You wiggled beneath him as he began to yank down your pair of jeans.

“Shut up,” He grunted. You almost sunk into the idea that your movements were futile. You used all the strength you had to push yourself up, slamming your back into his front. He stumbled only to wrap his muscular arms around your front. You continued to struggle and, as he held you tighter, you slammed your foot down on his own.

He was panicking, you could tell and you hoped he’d give up but he only spiraled further. The soldier threw you to the ground and you landed with a thud. Your vision went black for a moment as you felt him climb on top of you. You could hear him telling you to “shut up” as your vision returned.

The room was spinning but you’d never forget what happened after that. Bucky came from nowhere, just like the knife in his hand. There was no argument or fight to witness. There was no wrong or right to be discussed. The knife only entered deep into Steve’s neck and then he was collapsing on top of you.

Bucky kicked his body to the side, grabbing a hold of you as you shook furiously. Steve’s blood was warm and it covered your face and chest, “You’re okay now,” He said to you, wiping your face, “You’re okay now.”

You wanted to feel something when you looked at his lifeless body. You were nothing but numb. He had no compassion for you and you felt none for him. In this new world, there was little room for compassion. After all, this was the long way down.

E P I L O G U E

You had to leave Liberty. You had slain their king and they’d hunt you down, burn you at the stake, and steal back their princess.

When Bucky made that decision, the world you had adjusted to over two years was suddenly gone. But you were not alone. You had Margot. You had Bucky. You even had Peter and MJ. All of you escaped the settlement together, Peter refusing to stay without you, and started your long journey to nowhere.

There was a good chance that your plans would fail and you’d end up as all groups did. You moved east, hoping to escape the harsh winter. First, the gas ran out, and then you were left to hike. Next, the food supply began to run thin after a month on your feet. A screaming, hungry toddler was no friend to walkers.

A saving grace appeared when you were all at your wits’ end. The prison was an oasis in the middle of a desert. With tall barbed wire fences and armed guards, you prayed that it was safe. Your group approached with raised hands of surrender, hoping for sanctuary.

It was risk seeing as how they could steal your supplies and leave you all for dead but it was a risk you were all desperate to take.

“Stop!” A sniper shouted and everyone immediately halted.

A woman with bright red hair appeared behind the gate, rifle in one hand and walkie talkie in the other, “Romanoff here at Gate A, we have non-infected. Four,” The other side was silent as the woman looked us over. Based on her facial expressions, you weren’t hopeful that they had any room for you.

The woman was about to turn around but. with his hands still raised, Bucky began to speak, “We’re only seeking shelter for a short while. We have supplies to trade … At least take the women and children,” You looked to Bucky with wide eyes but he continued on, sure of his words, “You wouldn’t leave a toddler out here, would you?”

The woman paused, not bothering to address us. She simply spoke into the walkie talkie again, “Tony, there’s a baby and they look harmless enough.”

You could cut the tension with a knife as you all waited for a response. Finally, the device beeped and you finally received a response to whatever God was sitting in that guard tower, “Pepper’s going to kill me but fine, this is what she gets for all the narcissism lectures. Let them in after you’ve confiscated their weapons and checked for bites. Tell Bruce to have a look at the baby too.”

It wasn’t the light at the end of the tunnel but it was good enough for now. Bucky placed a hand on the small of your back before leading you forward.

+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: harryspet

**Author's Note:**

> i have many more works on my tumblr: harryspet !


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